In today’s uncertain world personal transitions are common. Job change, moving, divorce, promotion, layoff, career move, all entail having to make a change at a personal level that makes us wonder if we will be overwhelmed by what lies ahead. A recent poll shows that nearly 75% of those employed are unhappy enough in their jobs to consider a change; 51% are actively pursuing it. Even those considering a change seriously enough are held back by their inner fears.
Yet, we know we must make the change to succeed; sometimes just to survive. Fear is a natural human emotion that surfaces during times of uncertainty and definitely during times of personal change. Fear is, actually, a gift given to us so that, instinctively, we avoid danger. An emotion is triggered by the release of chemicals in our own body. The way we react to fear is by releasing our adrenaline that programs our reaction in a threatening situation. In everyday existence, however, having adrenaline flowing in our bloodstream is not good for us. It makes us behave instinctively and shuts down our reasoning and emotional faculties. The other affect of our carrying adrenaline during times of transition is that those who come in contact with us see this readily and try to stay away from us. Fear also spawns anxiety. This anxiety alone will make others avoid us as it also makes others anxious.
But, why are most of us steeped in fear when we are facing job transitions? One reason is, perhaps, that when there is uncertainty, especially job related, there is angst, which can create fear. Our own self esteem is tied in our job and that creates its own anxiety. But, that is different from fear. Fear deeply affects those who let it run their lives. This, again, creates its own adrenaline rush in you, which others see as someone they want to avoid. Fear is something not kept inside as most think, it is something that is apparent to anyone who sees us; we wear it even without our knowing it. It is much like a strong perfume we wear that we can no longer smell! Fear blocks one’s thinking and power to reason.
Fear surrounding job uncertainty can be managed since it is not instinctive fear. Instinctive fear is a gift that we are given to save our life. It is an internally driven response induced when we know that our life–not our way of life–is threatened, as when someone confronts us with a gun in their hands, or a beast we may encounter at a camp unexpectedly. This instinctive fear puts our body in an automatic mode and impels us to react to it by its primordial response: flight or fight. Instinctive fear is acute and episodic. Even under those life-threatening situations, the outcome is far more desirable when you are able to think rationally and then act, rather than react in panic. The only challenge is getting your mind into the thinking mode. Our response to existential fear, on the other hand, can be chronic, or at least for the duration long enough that lasts the entire transition and even beyond, creating a near-permanent change in us at a cellular level. This is where we must learn to reprogram ourselves to create the best outcome.
During life’s transitions certain approaches we choose to adopt can help us. Recent studies have shown that those with an open mind, positive outlook, intelligent optimism, and without fear are more likely to come out ahead faster in these transitions, than those who retreat, sulk, blame others for their woes, and move in fear. Fear and negativity around a situation can affect our mind by occluding it. An occluded mind is limited in its capacity to perform. Whereas someone who is fully engaged with emotional, mental, and physical resources can deliver so much more! This is why the first requirement in a transition is ridding of the fear factor!
To successfully leverage one’s internal resources and to mobilize untapped potential, becoming aware of the fear factor and overcoming the deepest fears are critical for a speedy transition to success. Remember how they train the race car drivers. Most are fearful of running into the wall and crashing into it. They train them to not look at that wall and focus on the road entirely, instead!
During intense transitions, it is normal to experience anxiety. Intense transitions can be those prompted by a job loss, an impending termination or layoff, or anything that creates uncertainty, which leads to fear as we just discussed. Sometimes, this fear then drives certainty¾the inevitable actually happens–which culminates in dread! During such episodes it is normal to experience sleepless nights, or awaken in the middle of the night in sweat, and then lie awake with eyes wide open, wondering about what is next and finding meaning behind what is going on. In the quiet of the night, all negative thoughts multiply unchecked and create a paralyzing emotion from within. As the situation deteriorates due to a declining economy, personal setbacks, fear of running out of money, and other factors, it creates further anxiety that impairs normal thinking. This is now a vicious cycle and it permeates our daily existence. Its effect is to slowly attack our own self-confidence and our ability to master our own destiny in an insidious and pernicious way. This fear that causes sleepless nights also impairs our daily performance in all that we do to get out of the very situation that creates these nightmares. The best way to deal with this quandary is to recognize that such angst is common to making a change. Holding positive thoughts and painting pictures of envisioned outcomes from these transitions can be good tools to combat these negative forces. Of course, thoughtful and visionary planning, diligent execution, and course correction, as new learning is derived from ongoing efforts, must fortify such positive imagery.
Focusing on planned actions and holding the belief that the universe provides us its lessons through these challenges and that our life is not complete without these lessons is an affirmation that, too, can help us. Such lessons make us confident in our own abilities and are proving grounds for our own inner strength of character and resolve. Accepting defeat in the face of adversity and retreating do not complete the intended lesson; they merely defer it. Additionally, one’s self-confidence and esteem take a beating in this early admission of defeat. Maintaining a regimen, a plan, and diligent execution of the plan are important for success and early positive conclusion of such transitions. So, in summary, for those in job or career transitions the following prescription is offered to deal positively with their fear:
- A transition is a clarion call for self discovery. Rather than just looking for more of what you did in the past it is an opportunity to rediscover yourself.
- Rather than writing your resume merely based on what you did in the past (almost all resumes do this), discover who you are and find ways of incorporating that in your new value message.
- Find your genius, learn how to articulate it, and wrap your value proposition around this. In my practice I call your genius Unique Skills.
- Learn how to tell your leadership stories in your resume. A resume crafted with just a few such stories is far more intriguing and readable than a one with mere facts and assignments. When you operate within your genius your stories come alive. You also operate without fear narrating such stories.
- Become aware of your fear. Identify what the source of the fear is and write it down.
- Analyze the source and break it down into components. Deal with one component at a time and confront its fear-inducing origin. You will realize that the fear itself may be unfounded. Always reach the bottom-line outcome and ask, so what?
- If you are fearful of a future possibility: foreclosure, bankruptcy, divorce, or loss of assets, ask yourself, what is the worst that can happen as a result. Meanwhile, deal with what you must and execute your action plan as if that possibility is outside the realm. Think positively and hold positive thoughts. Remember: you become what you fear! Constant assault of fearful thoughts can end up reprogramming your body at a cellular level.
- Learn how to separate negative fantasies from realistic outcomes. The difference between the two is that with the latter you have control over how you deal with them.
- If you are afraid of an interview with someone very senior as a result of your successes with lower-level interviews, assure yourself that you have made it that far. The best way to handle such an interview is to go with great questions gleaned from preceding interviews. It is far more impactful to have gone with great questions than to have gone with half-baked answers! Take charge of the interview by asking good questions from the start.
- Be confident, thoughtful, and poised. People will wonder where you get your aplomb from and out of that curiosity they may just hire you to find out for themselves. People run away from the negative and gravitate towards the positive.
- Always aim for achievement, not success.