I was watching Lady Gaga on CBS’ 60 Minutes last week, and one thing she said in that interview that struck me, “I was teased throughout my school years by other kids, because I was different; it pained me greatly then, because I did not fit in. But, now I have dealt with that pain to become somebody different and awesome!” She is right; she IS awesome!
There are countless stories of others, who have gone on to become awesome in their lives after living through the pain of being teased for not fitting in: Albert Einstein, Madonna, Rabindranath Tagore, to name just a few. They succeeded in sublimating that pain to create something, by believing in a greater calling for themselves, putting all those who teased them to shame, without making that their focus in life. They did that for their own sake!
Although we like to fit in a group that we care about, we are all different and unique in how we bring our gifts to others and how we manifest them. From our childhood we are told to fit in, not to make noise, and to go with the flow. But, when we do that we are killing something in ourselves that uniquely belongs to us, and which can help us achiever true greatness.
So, what are some of the ways we can become great, even as adults? Here is my take on it:
- If anyone tells you that you do not fit in, and that you are different, thank them and find what you need to do, not to make that difference smaller, but to amplify it!
- When you are now at peace with yourself with your being different, you can spend the available energy—the one you spent before to conform to the norm—to harness your difference into something that creates awesome things!
- If you decide to stay with the group where you do not “fit in,” find the threshold of what you must do to survive, while you focus on your gifts to rise above the noise. If staying with that group diminishes you, find some ways to get out in stages, and join a group that appreciates your gifts. For example, if your area of work within your company does not appreciate your gifts, find other areas within the same company, where you can be a better fit, and then move to where you really belong.
- Be honest with yourself and find your voice. Do not surrender yourself to the mercenary existence merely to get your paycheck. When you do that you are slowly killing yourself by being part of the crowd.
- Seek some help from professionals or from a mentor, who can guide you through a transition that will allow you to engage in a productive and a more forgiving environment.
Singing in your own voice, while doing good, as Lady Gaga is doing, is an awesome gift, and everyone deserves to see what that gift is!
Good luck!