When one gets that call for a job interview it is time for the candidate to prepare to ace that interview and to get that coveted job offer. So, candidates prepare themselves on many fronts: Insights about the potential employer, their products, customers, financials, competitors, and about the people who are going to interview them. Getting ready for interviews also involves mastering new areas of technology, new markets, and new “gothchya” questions! So, to anyone who takes going for an interview seriously this is not a cakewalk!
Yet, often when my clients come to me feeling defeated after a round of interviews I ask them what did not go well during the interview, for which I had coached them from mastering their body language to finessing the “tell me about your weaknesses” question. In most cases the answer and the context are the same: asking questions about their personal lives and nosing into details about their embarrassing past. Interestingly, when I probe more and ask the offending interviewers’ cultural background, the answer is almost always the same.
One of the first things about becoming a manager in most US companies is getting trained about EEOC (Equal Employment Opportunity Commission) and how it deals with employment discrimination matters (different countries have different norms on such matters, so beware!). Although interviews are designed to discriminate the selected candidate from the rest, this discrimination has boundaries. When an interview discussion gets into areas that deal with personal details and does not relate to job performance (legal discrimination) it gets into an area of illegal discrimination. So, questions about your personal life, such as how many children do you have, are you married or single, what religion do you practice are all considered out of bound and illegal. As you can imagine this list of illegal questions that can enter an interview discussion can be quite long.
So, what does one do to prevent their discomfiture during an interview process when such questions are asked? Here is my guidance:
- In most cases of such infractions during an interview the directions in which questions are asked gets progressively more invasive, often, later in the process. So, when you sense that this is happening, inevitably leading to deeper and more personal inquiry, smile and look at the interviewer in silence for a few seconds as soon as you detect that this is now happening and is headed in that direction. Smile again, and then say, I get the sense that we are now heading into an area of inquiry that is questionable, and may even be illegal. So, let us take another approach to continue our interview.
- If the interviewer does not get the hint and continues with greater interest asking even more offensive questions then pause again, smile, and say, Listen Joe, I like you and like the way you are conducting this interview. I just want to suggest to you that the direction in which this interview is now going can land you into trouble and I hate to see that happening. So, let us choose a different direction in which to probe my qualifications for this job further.
- If they still persists and continue harassing you with pointless (to you) inquiry about your personal lives, pause once again, smile, and then say, OK, Joe, if you want to know more about my personal life I’d be happy to share that with you, but first I’d like you to answer that same question for me first, so that I feel comfortable answering that for you from my side.
- If the interviewer STILL does not get the point of being in the zone of illegal questioning, you have the option of stopping the interview and stating your concern about this inquiry and to terminate the interview. At this point you can be assured that you are NOT their candidate, so you have the freedom to warn that nosy interviewer that you plan to escalate this experience to their HR and to the EEOC. Even if you were their candidate, why would you want to work for someone like this person?
- If you are convinced that you have a case of discrimination then you must do both: Complain to the company’s HR department and tell them that you intend to file an EEOC complaint again them and their employee, who interviewed you. Often, habits are hard to break, so you may not be alone who had such an experience with this interviewer. Their past will soon catch up with them if you act decisively.
In most cases of interviewer abuse things do not escalate to a level of getting EEOC involved, but knowing your rights and knowing the right thing to do are important to keep your dignity and self-respect in check.