We all work hard in our endeavors. There is a myth that we work for money and that a well-compensated job does not deserve anything else. Actually, money we earn is a reflection of the economic value we exchange for what we do and is driven by our existential needs. This is more a transactional consideration. There is so much focus on how much someone makes that it drowns out why we are really after something else. At a deeper level we look for something that nurtures and sustains us emotionally and spiritually; the existential need is filled in the moment and it gives us a high that lasts until our next transactional conquest.
The nurturing component of what we seek is very important to us all. This is what sustains us to keep going and keep on doing more of what we do well. Yet, despite our primordial need for its flow very few take the time or the trouble to understand its significance is our everyday work life. Those involved in our engagement believe that the transactional need filled by the arrangement should be a sufficient expression of their affirmation of our value.
One way to appreciate someone’s efforts and what they have produced is to pause and take a moment to express your appreciation. Timely and appropriate appreciation can be a powerful tonic for anyone, even for those diehards who claim immunity from its charms. Such appreciation can be offered either as a reward, a compliment, or just a few words of praise.
A reward is something tangible given to someone who has recognized their efforts in doing what they have done. It usually has a material aspect to it, although its economic value can vary widely. In its simplest presentation a certificate of appreciation could be reward (“award’). In its most glorified counterpart it could be stock options worth a fortune.
A compliment is an expression directed towards someone who is appreciated for what they have or possess. A complement is either superficial (“you have beautiful eyes!”) or fleeting (‘that was a great hand-off’). Sometimes, a compliment can be disingenuous or it can be delivered to fulfill a hidden agenda. A compliment is a subjective expression of appreciation and is often given in the moment, sometimes spontaneously. Often, when a compliment is genuine, it may need a context without which it can ring hollow. Some people do not know how to acknowledge a compliment and some even may take downright offense, depending on how it is delivered and the mood of the recipient. At other times it could be a means of getting something from its recipient in exchange for its expression. A well-placed and timely compliment can be a charm that can prompt its recipient to often return the favor by giving back to the person giving the compliment what they are looking for. In such cases giving a compliment has mercenary motives. There is nothing wrong with that!
Praise, on the other hand, is specific that has a time element associated with it. It is also based on the effort and its quality for which the person giving the praise shows their appreciation. A well-given praise has magical effect on the person getting it. It also has an equally beneficial effect on the person giving it. It is much like a well-chosen gift given to someone who really appreciates it, except that the gift itself does not have a material quality to it. As Sam Walton said: A well-deserved praise is free, but it can be worth a fortune!”
Using praise appropriately has a dramatic effect on the person at whom the praise is directed. A well-delivered expression of praise can lift someone’s spirits and make them suddenly come alive. This is a neurochemical process, where the brain’s chemical, endorphin, is released, which makes the person experience a feeling of well being at a very deep level. Its opposite is adrenaline, which is released when the person is in fear or is experiencing negative emotions such as anxiety or uneasiness. To witness the power of a well-deserved praise take any random person and catch them when they are feeling down and see how they respond to your words of praise!
The effect of praise is equally potent on the person giving it, if it is given well-deservedly. To see the response of the person getting the praise often has an equally positive effect on the person giving it; this is much like giving a well-thought out gift given to someone you care about.