As a career and a life coach I routinely work with clients, who are doing well in their careers as well as those who are in some trouble. Although most come to me when they run aground with some trouble, others come to me to further enhance their already well-positioned careers. In many cases what I find is that the single most common element in our discussions is managing their relationships with key stakeholders.
It may surprise many to learn that the number-one factor in anyone’s career is how they manage their relationships with, not just their chain of command, looking upwards, but also laterally and downwards. Although relationships are important at all levels, they become a critical success factor as a professional moves up in their role and become the driver in career success!
So, how does one manage relationships around them to keep them in good stead with those that matter and how does one parlay these relationships into career achievements? Here are some suggestions:
1. Understand Relationships: No matter where you stand in an organization interpersonal relationships are important. Working inside an organization is more a social sport than it is being just a lone ranger! It does not matter how great you are at what you do, unless everyone who interacts with you supports your cause, they will go out of their way to make you unsuccessful. Some people are passive aggressive and they are the most difficult to understand and to win over. So, understand the dynamic between the other person and you and develop strategies to win them over!
2. Be authentic: It is always a good idea to be authentic about what you stand for. Having a changing or variable view about something to transactionally please someone you are dealing with in any moment can eventually catch up with you and no one will eventually trust you. So, no matter what your point of view is always be authentic and be consistent with that view. So, you know where you stand and others know how to deal with you!
3. Take time: In any interaction trust is at the center. Business moves at the speed of trust. So, taking that time to build personal relationships of trust can be a good investment in making your life easier as you build even stronger relationships with those that matter.
4. Be consistent: Do not keep changing your point of view based on which way the wind is blowing. Although you may get some attention for lining-up with the prevailing point of view in that instant, eventually people will see through your shenanigans and stop trusting you.
5. Be honest: What you think, say, and how you behave must all by in alignment. This is also what makes you authentic. If you want to express an opinion about someone do not fault that person, but discuss their point of view. Do not go out of your way to malign someone, especially if they are not present. It makes you look petty in others’ eyes. When you want to express a negative opinion be very careful about the language you use. Start with a softer language and then see how the person reacts. Use more appropriate language, as the dialog gets more interactive.
6. Invest energy: With social media and IMs, many confuse transacting information, even of a personal nature, with building relationships. Nothing could be further from the truth. Personal relationships take time to build; they require constant nurturing. So, do not confuse how many friends you have with the number of your Twitter followers or Facebook connections. Also, when exchanging emails be careful about how you respond to an angry or objectionable message. Do not escalate the tone of the exchange. Switch to a more personal means of communication if you foresee this happening: phone call or an in-person meeting.
7. Give first: Most people invoke their relationships with others only when they land into some trouble: a job loss, a divorce, financial hardship, among others. If you are in regular contact with those that matter, such developments should not be a surprise to them. Also, if you have managed your relationships well, those close to you will offer you a helping hand before you need it or even ask for it. By giving first to others close to you, you are setting a standard of expectation that will not disappoint you. In the rare cases that it does, it is time for you to re-evaluate your relationship.
8. Manage expectations: Be clear about what you want from someone and be also clear about what you are willing to give in return, either transactionally or later. Without this quid pro quo most relationships wither and die away.
9. Send notes: Surprise someone you are close to with a spontaneous note just about how grateful you are to be their friends and for their support. Do not insert any other message in such a note. Such simple gestures can make strong relationships even stronger and they do not take much effort!
10. Reciprocate: In a balanced relationship there is an even flow of actions and their returns. So, if someone does you a favor, first acknowledge it and then spontaneously reciprocate it.
Good luck!